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Strange Traffic Laws

The first traffic laws were entered on the books back in 1903 when a businessman in New York City by the name of William Phillip Eno wrote a book of traffic laws. He was frustrated having to dodge cars on the sidewalks of New York City and in parks because in his day there were no traffic regulations! For his effort, Mr. Eno has earned the title “Father of Traffic Safety.”

Here are some of the most bizarre and strange traffic laws that are still on the books in every state thanks to Mr. Eno and state legislatures that have too much time on their hands:

  • Alabama: It is illegal to wear a blindfold while driving. However, it is perfectly legal to be driving the wrong way down a one way street as long as you have a lantern hanging from the front of your car. Go figure!
  • Alaska: Don’t drive with your dog tied to the roof of your car. I’ve heard of a hood ornament but I never heard about a roof ornament.
  • Arizona: Glendale has a law on the books that prohibits a vehicle from being driven in reverse. Don’t leave home if you haven’t mastered the art of parallel parking without backing up!
  • Arkansas: it illegal to blare a car horn where ice cold beverages or sandwiches are served after 9 p.m. Don’t drink and honk!
  • California: It is against the law for a car without a driver to exceed 60 MPH. Well…with Google testing self-driving vehicles I call this law foresight. Oh…and beware of getting caught washing your car with used underwear. In San Francisco, that will get you fined!
  • Colorado: Denver has a law making it illegal to drive a black car on Sunday. Does that mean there are no funerals on Sunday?
  • Connecticut: It is illegal to hunt from your car including deer season even if the car is painted bright orange. I assume it’s called the Bambi law.
  • Delaware: Changing clothes in your car is illegal.
  • Florida: You have to pay the parking fee at a meter if you tie your alligator, elephant, or goat to the meter. Watch out folks! The circus is in town and all the parking meters are taken.
  • Georgia: The community in Dublin has apparently found it to be necessary to ban driving your vehicle through a playground. This is the same state where it is illegal for a chicken to cross the street.
  • Hawaii: It is a violation to use your hazard lights while your car is in motion.
  • Idaho: Senior citizens beware. It is illegal to ride a motorcycle in Idaho Falls if you are over 88 years old. Take Grandpa’s Harley keys away from him!
  • Illinois: It is illegal to drive a car without a steering wheel. You don’t have to be Einstein to figure that out.
  • Indiana: Cars cannot be sold on Sundays.
  • Iowa: Indianola has banned the ice cream man! Come on kids! It’s time to gather at the courthouse and protest.
  • Kansas: This one seems like a riddle. When two trains meet on the same track, neither can proceed until the other has passed.
  • Kentucky: Specifically in Ft. Thomas, it is illegal for your dog to molest a vehicle. Now that’s ruff!
  • Louisiana: Listen up ladies and gentlemen. It is illegal for a woman to drive a car unless her husband is running ahead waving a flag in front of it. I tried telling my wife that was a good idea; I’ll be getting discharged from the hospital any day now!
  • Maine: In South Berwick it is illegal to park in front of Dunkin Donuts… police vehicles are exempt. Understandable.
  • Maryland: Rockville has a “keep it clean” law that bans cursing while in your car. With that in mind, to the driver who cut me off the other day, I apologize and next time I promise to send you flowers.
  • Massachusetts: It is illegal to drive with your gorilla in the back seat so I assume that means he can only either drive or be riding in the front passenger seat. Buckle up big boy!
  • Michigan: Don’t sit in the middle of the street reading a newspaper. You might get arrested not to mention flattened.
  • Minnesota: Minneapolis has a law against driving a red car on Lake Street. Program your GPS to avoid this area!
  • Mississippi: It is against the law to beep the horn because you might scare the horses. Kudos to all you neigh sayers for passing this law.
  • Missouri: It is illegal to honk someone else’s horn. “Excuse me, ma’am. My horn doesn’t work and I have this urge to honk so can I lean on your horn for a minute?”
  • Montana: It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone. So where do you go to find an escort?
  • Nebraska: Drivers on mountains should drive with caution near the right edge of the highway. OK but the last time I checked, there were no mountains in Nebraska!
  • Nevada: There is a ban on riding your camel on a highway even if you are a Bedouin. If you rode your camel from Nevada to Florida, don’t forget to feed the meter when you park.
  • New Hampshire: It is illegal to inhale bus fumes to induce a feeling of euphoria. Busted!
  • New Jersey: You are banned from owning personalized (vanity) license plates if you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated (DWI). Blairstow has a law prohibiting the planting of trees in the middle of a street. Actually, it might be fun to have an obstacle course with trees in the middle of a city street!
  • New Mexico: Cab drivers beware! It is against the law to reach out and grab someone to drag them into your cab. I wonder if this also applies to Uber drivers.
  • New York: Sag Harbor has made it illegal to disrobe in your car. Sounds like an episode of “What Not to Wear”.
  • North Carolina: It is illegal to drive through a cemetery unless you are the grave digger or there for a funeral. If you want to visit your late Aunt Bertha bring binoculars and pay your respects from the street.
  • North Dakota: Stick a penny in a parking meter and you will be deemed a criminal.
  • Ohio: It is illegal to run out of gas in Youngstown. Always carry a spare gas can in your vehicle and pray it doesn’t explode if you are involved in an accident.
  • Oklahoma: You are banned from reading comic books while driving. “Officer, I’m not reading a comic book. I’m reading 50 Shades of Grey.”
  • Oregon: You must yield right of way to pedestrians when you are driving on a sidewalk. Furthermore, you will be ticketed if you leave your car door open too long.
  • Pennsylvania: You have to stop every mile, detonate a rocket, and wait 10 minutes before proceeding if you are driving at night on a country road. Reason? So the livestock knows you are coming.
  • Rhode Island: It is illegal to drive with beer in your vehicle, even if it is unopened. Does that mean the Bud delivery truck gets ticketed when making a delivery?
  • South Carolina: You are forbidden from hanging fake testicles from your rear bumper. I hate to think about it but does that mean real ones are ok?
  • South Dakota: If you are 14 years old, you are eligible to get your driver’s license.
  • Tennessee: It is illegal to shoot game from your vehicle with the exception of whales. Anyone seen a whale in Tennessee recently? Believe it or not, several stated have a similar law!
  • Texas: Windshield wipers are mandatory to register a car; a windshield is optional.
  • Utah: Birds have the right of way on all highways. And remember, don’t go fishing from horseback.
  • Vermont: It is illegal in Rutland for a car to backfire. People too?
  • Virginia: Here we go again with the flag waving. A woman is not allowed to drive on Main St. unless her husband is walking in front of the car and waving a red flag. I can only assume that means single ladies are banned from driving in Virginia.
  • Washington: It is illegal to ride an ugly horse. There’s a Prince Charles and Camilla joke here but I will leave it alone!
  • West Virginia: The land of fine dining has made it legal to scavenge for road kill. “Hi Mom…what’s for dinner?”
  • Wisconsin: If you are riding a bicycle “look ma, no hands” is against the law. Grab those handlebars and don’t let go.
  • Wyoming: Any person who does not close a fence is subject to a fine of $750. OK but there’s no humor there. How about this. It is illegal to take a picture of a rabbit from January to April without an official permit.

Many of these laws have been on the books for years and they are long forgotten and obviously not enforced. Of course, we could look at it another way and say that it is typical for our government, regardless of the jurisdiction, to legislate just for the sake of justifying their existence. Anyway, I hope I made you smile at least once by sharing these bizarre laws.